The seven figures, from one hour to ten
Seven lines and no footnotes. These figures hold for every name on On The Books, at every address inside the zone, at every hour of the day and night. Two things move a total and nothing else does: how long you book, and a journey that leaves Zone 2.
Everything below is written the way the desk will say it back to you in the confirmation, in whole pounds, before anybody sets off.
One hour
The shortest call the desk takes. Long enough for a real conversation.
from £250Ninety minutes
Room to get from a bar to a dining room while the evening is young.
£400Two hours
What most weeknights in the zone actually run to, dinner included.
£500Three hours
Dinner at its own speed, with time standing free on either side of it.
£700Dinner date, four hours
For the night when the table is only part of the plan.
£900Overnight, ten hours
Through until morning, breakfast counted inside the hours.
£1,800Weekend
Written out against the dates you give, since no printed number would fit them.
On requestTime and companionship only Travel inside zones one and two included Quoted in writing before anybody sets off
Hello, I would like to book [name] on [date] at [time] for [duration]. I am staying at [hotel name], and will share the room number on confirmation.
What the figure buys
The hours you booked and her company through them. Fees are for time and companionship only, and there is nothing else on sale here at any price. Travelling inside Zones 1 and 2 is counted already, whether she walks eight minutes across Soho or comes in from the far side of the river. A midnight start costs exactly what a seven o'clock start costs, nothing lands at the end of an evening, and nobody is waiting for a tip.
Tables, tickets and whatever else is bought along the way are yours, as host. Adding an hour once the evening has begun is settled in the thread first, at the ordinary rate, and only when the diary behind you has room in it.
Why the ladder slopes
Divide each figure by its hours and every rung undercuts the one above it: three hours at £700 costs less per hour than two at £500, and the ten hour night at £1,800 buys the cheapest hour on the sheet. That slope is deliberate rather than accidental. One long evening asks less of a diary than three separate arrivals do, and it usually turns out to be the better evening as well.
There is no half hour product on this sheet and there will not be one. An hour is the floor, and most guests here take ninety minutes or two.
The Zone 2 line
Everything on the Zone One pages sits well inside it, including the longest crossing on the site, Westminster up to the top of Bloomsbury. Past that boundary the cab is counted in both directions and named in the same message as the fee, so no figure turns up later that you have not already seen and agreed.
An airport evening carries a three hour minimum with the travelling counted inside it, and comes back as a single total rather than a set of parts.
If the evening moves
Give the desk three hours and there is nothing to settle. Under two hours, half the figure holds. If nobody opens the door, the whole of it does. Every booking carries a quarter of an hour of slack for the meeting that ran long, and past that the time is rebooked rather than quietly extended.
Should this desk or the companion ever have to stand an evening down, you hear at once and neither side owes the other anything.
Handing over the fee
It goes to her, in her hand, in the first minute she is in the room, and it is the figure in your confirmation to the pound. The desk keeps nothing of yours on file.
Before she sets off there is a single check: the name the reservation carries, the building, and the room number, matched once in the thread and then of no further interest to anybody.
Using the wording above
The message block on this page saves a round of questions. Fill the brackets with a name, a date, a start time and a length, say where you are staying, and send it by WhatsApp or by Telegram. A room number can wait until the desk has come back to you.
What comes back carries her name, the figure in whole pounds, and the time she will knock. Everything past that point is set out on the booking page.
It is, and it holds for all twenty eight names. Nobody here is priced above anybody else, in Mayfair or in Bloomsbury or anywhere in between.
It cannot. The figure in your confirmation is the figure handed over. Zone 1 and 2 travelling is inside it, a late hour adds nothing, and there is no such thing here as a priced extra.
An hour or two on the same day is generally enough in the middle of town. A night through to morning, an event or a journey beyond the zone is easier with a day or two, since the arrangements around it take longer than the booking itself.
Three hours of warning and there is nothing to settle. Under two, half the figure holds. A door nobody opens costs the whole of it.
Because weekends differ too much from one another for one printed number to be honest about any of them. Describe the dates and what is in them, and the answer comes back in writing.
It carries a three hour minimum with the travelling counted inside it, and the cab past Zone 2 is named in both directions in the same message. One total, agreed in writing before anything is fixed.
Tell us where.
We write the rest.
The desk is being read right now, by a person rather than a form. One line with the district and the hour is all it takes, and nothing is set until you say so.
- WhereYour hotel or flat
- WhenThe hour you name
- CompanionFrom the board
- Arrival20 to 35 minutes
- FigureQuoted in writing